20 Years of Making Music

1.       Shifting Plates:

My band Drift Effect had an amazing opportunity to record at the legendary Pachyderm studios.  We begged and borrowed enough money to realize this goal. We had an absolutely amazing time. At one point, I snuck off and started playing a song I had written while still living in South Dakota. I had originally written in on guitar, but there was a piano in the studio and I sat down and began plunking out the chords.  The guys heard it and thought it should go on the EP.  There was no way I would fake my way through a recorded performance. Luckily, Marc’s girlfriend at the time was hanging out while we tracked and she could play piano.  So, we recorded the first verse.  I really love this recording!  I know exactly what I was thinking/feeling when I hear it.  

 

Let me know what you think. If you like it, Please share.    

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2.       Solstice

@Drift Effect once again found our way to our beloved Pachyderm studios.  This time we enlisted the help of Chris Mara. The guys had spent the day tracking.  Ben and Nate came upstairs and said to check out the acoustics in the empty pool room.  A group of us were gathered around and Ben started playing this version of Solstice and I started singing.  It was a surreal moment as it sounded incredible in that room.  There is a studio version of course that sounds great, but this live acoustic version reminds me of sitting in an empty swimming pool with my brothers doing something we all loved in a studio we all revered.

This recording was done live at Chris Mara’s cabin in Wisconsin as part of acoustic “bonus” tracks we were offering.  Ben sat on the couch with his acoustic and I stood looking out onto the frozen woods.  I remember looking up at the thermometer while singing and it said -45 degrees.  There are many, many stories to share from this experience.  Some fit for conversations, and others that will remain inside stories to all of us that were there.

 

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3.       Diaspora, Under a Red Sky

Marc came up with this really pretty acoustic line for Meridian Incident, and the guys recorded a demo and sent it to me.  Unfortunately, it came to me while I was fighting severe laryngitis. I couldn’t sing for almost 6 months!   I’m pretty sure it was stress induced.  My wife got HELP syndrome (a fatal form of preeclampsia) which led to youngest son being born at 26 weeks. Between her and my son, we spent over 3 months in hospitals.  The universe thought it should add some more stress, my dad had a heart attack and so I had to fly to AZ to be with him.  Mountains of stress and anxiety.  Needless to say my demo version was pretty rough.

Fast forward seven years, and we finally got to perform Istology from start to finish.  In terms of the story of Janey, this is a final moment of clarity.  She has been brutalized by the world, but in the end finds some acceptance and love. For me, it is a very intimate view of my own life and where I find myself. I have an incredible family and a beautiful life.  I still get choked up when I hear this song. On the night we played the album live, and as I was finishing it—my mind went to my children.  I just sobbed on stage.  There is a full HD video of me ugly crying, which is safely stored on a hard drive hidden in my studio J Adam did an incredible job engineering this album. He truly captured the essence of this song.  So very pretty!

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4.       Dominie

This one may take a bit to explain as it is about two people we met.  One girl became our lifelong friend.  She is an incredible person with a rare genetic disorder.  She fit right into our existential and spiritual conversations, and if you know my friends we all get off on philosophy.  So, our conversations with her always stuck with me because of the way she viewed her mortality.  She had a disease that could at any time take her life. Yet, she lived with grace.

The other person was a girl we met at a show at the Rock.  She had a congenital heart defect.  She sat down and talked to us about our music and how much it moved her.  When she got up to leave she said, “I hope to see you again”.  Given her disease, this really struck a nerve with me.  I had to teach school the next day and during my free hour, I typed out the words and emailed to Marc.  He was moved as well and started writing a guitar part.  We brought it to the rest of the guys and finished the song two days before @drifeffect was to record this live acoustic album called The Center. 

There is a really great, polished recording done by Colt Leeb.  You can find that version on the Temporal End. However, I wanted to showcase this very raw version.  We had one rehearsal to practice it as a full band before this recording.  It was recorded live at the Cabooze in Minneapolis by our dear friend Chris Mara who came up from Nashville.  You can hear the uncertainty in my voice.  I knew what notes I wanted to sing, but am just not quite 100% confident.  Lyrically, this is one of my best endeavors.  And as Nate said, “huh, a chorus without words”

 

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 5.       Yellow Wings

Instead of just sharing an mp3, I wanted to share the music video.  It is beautifully shot by Phil Cowen and directed by his beautiful wife, Megan (a former student of mine from Beresford, SD—that’s another long story). This was one of the most rewarding experiences of my music career.  The universe smiled heavily upon us as we scrambled to find a location after our first one backed out.   So many obstacles just melted away as our network of creative people stepped in to help us.

The origins of the song came from a poem I had written my Freshman year of college.  I was reflecting on some girls I knew in High School and some others I met in college.  They were kind but aloof.  They carried a sadness I was trying to identify.  Anyway, it sat in my pile of notebooks until one day in the basement of Mervin Chin’s house as Meridian Incident was trying to figure out what the hell we were about—a riff turned into a jam.  A melody formed and this old poem sprung to life. From there, we decided to do something crazy!  Let’s make a concept album that works together with a screenplay to tell this amazingly intricate story about a girl named Janey; where the musical themes highlight emotional themes from the movie. 7 years of diligent effort and writing and conversations and rewriting, we finished an amazingly complex project called Istology.

 

https://youtu.be/fFokie6qrlo

 

6.       Off The Wire

This is one of the first songs I wrote.  I had just been fired and was completely depressed. I had done everything society expected of me. College. Marriage. Career.  I checked them all off.  I was miserable.  One day, I was feeling really low and CNN happened to be on.  I was sitting there with my guitar playing these chords and humming a melody.  I just stopped playing and started copying down the headlines that scrolled across the bottom of the page.  This song is that moment.

 This recording was done in Nashville at Welcome to 1979. When I spoke earlier about the beautiful people I have had the chance to meet—Chris Mara is one of them. His studio is magical and I am so thankful I got to record there.  He went out of his way to help find world class musicians to play on my simple songs that became @theattleyproject volume 1.  Dan Adams sat in with me on this recording and he let me play his 1968 Gibson acoustic on the track. I wish I had a picture of the look on my face when he offered it to me.

 

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7.       Memory

This is another song that came from a major bout of depression. Drift Effect had just ended and I needed to get away.  I rented a room at the Westwood Inn in Vermillion, SD. I took a guitar, microphone, fourtrack and a notebook.  Locked myself in the room and tried to process what was happening. One night, my old friend/writing partner Sulzle came over and showed me a riff he had been working on.  I recorded it to my four track and had a rough melody idea.  I took the riff and made it my own.  Worked with another great friend Evan Tepler to smooth out the bridge and then it was finished.  I played it a few times at open mic nights, but really it just sat there.

This recording is from @theattleyproject session in Nashville at Welcome to 1979.  Dan Adams, BIlly Livesy, Stephen Bowers, and Brad Pemberton gave this recording such life.  I still have to pinch myself that I got to work with such incredible musicians and even better people.  Adam was there with me during the whole process and I remember hanging out at dinner enjoying a yuengling after we tracked this song.  My great friend Kylie Nystrom was there with us as well and loved He looked at me and said this was easily the best song on the album.  The tones and energy were perfect!  I agree.

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8.       Plain

This will be a long one. You have been forewarned.  I will start with the experience that led to me writing the verses.  I tagged along with my best friend JJ to go and see our high school friends George, Tobin, Gilly, and other Pierre folk in Brookings.  That night at like midnight we made some tea and wandered outside in this big open lot.  I took my shoes off in the grass and was floored by this depth of feeling that it was all going to be ok. 

Fast Forward to 2003.  I was working with Lee, Chris, and Joe on a project called Switchgrass.  We made the poem Plain into a song.  We have a live recording that you can hear on my everythingraymond page.  Fast Forward to 2008.  @drifteffect was writing with our new drummer, Adam Schmid and I really wanted to evolve this song.  So, being the amazing musicians they are, they reinterpreted the music and we flushed out a new idea for the verses.  They took it even further and came with this insanely cool end.  But I was stuck.  I wasn’t entirely sure what I needed to say. 

This is where Ben comes in.  I have never met anyone in my life whom I consider truly wise.  We had hours and hours of conversations through the years and I respect everything that pops into his head. So, I was explaining this notion that we humans are foolish in believing we have control etc.  We rationalized and came to a clear idea that we just need to let it go.  The end of the song should be a spiritual deep breathing cleanse. 

Then it came time to record it.  We were working out of the basement of our friend Pat’s house.  We made a vocal booth of sleeping bags, heavy blankets, and pillows…ok, it was a big damn blanket fort.  I tracked each phrase of the song separately as there were little nuances in my voice I wanted to highlight in each phrase.  Probably, a little overdone but I am really proud of the results.  This song is 24 years old and look at all the people that had a hand in making it/influencing it. This final version is the most complex song we wrote in Drift Effect and sadly few have heard it as it was released after the DE run was done.  Also, best if listened to on speakers and cranked! 

 

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 9.       Systematic

This song is based on something that really happened to a friend of mine.  He made a poor choice and paid a very heavy price. One day, he went with a new acquaintance to run errands.  They stopped at this random guy’s house.  It turns out that this random house was occupied by a drug dealer.  The drug dealer freaked out and accused my friend and his acquaintance of being Narcs.  The drug dealer held my friend for 18 hours.  Beat him with a baseball bat.  Threatened to kill him.  18 hours of fear and abuse.  Eventually, my friend just decided to run because he was going to be killed either way.  True story.

It was odd that I hadn’t heard from him for a few days, so I called.  He was completely shaken and told me this story.  He and I talked and wrote back and forth as I tried to help him process what had happened.  The lyrics are from that process.  Fundamentally, we asked what would make a person do something like this. Fortuitously, the guys in @drifteffect were writing this frenetic, crazy song right during this time.  Oddly, perfect timing.  My favorite lines: fear leads to hate/hate leads to rage/rage leads to pain/ pain leads to fear. 

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 10.   Cycles

This song was originally written on guitar with my dear friend Evan Tepler.  Evan was our go to stage manager, guitar tech, merch guy. In our downtime, Evan and I started writing songs.   Oh, and when touring if a band was looking for some nose candy we always sent them to Evan.  Of course, we had no clue about hard drugs. Not in our DNA. However, this is especially hilarious if you ever met Evan.    “Dude, why do these bands always come to me and ask about cocaine?”  Now you know Evan.  Hahahaha! I’m giggling as I type. But I digress.

I was getting ready to send songs to Nashville and wanted something on piano.  So, I sat down in the gallery room at Emy Frentz in Mankato and plucked away until I thought I had it.  I remember calling Evan and performing the new version over the phone.  He really liked it. We ironed out a couple parts and she was ready.  Now, when in Nashville Billy Livesy took my idea it and made it sound incredible! 

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5a984b3b372b967f58ec277b/5a999cc2ec212d4d9ce997fa/5a9c285f8165f5587457071a/1520183410171/03+Cycles.mp3

11.   Nothing Sound

I wrote this song for my first wedding anniversary.  I had never played it for anyone and got a funny idea that I should surprise my wife.  I called the local radio station and told them of my surprise and they loved the idea.  I told my wife that she had to listen to the radio at Noon because I was selected to win a camper (I know…LAME, but best I could think of).  I had never performed for anyone, let alone live in a radio studio.  I was really nervous, but my surprise went off and she was happy which is all that mattered.

Fast Forward to Welcome to 1979, Nashville for @theattleyproject session.  If there is a song on this album that showcases the creativity and genius of the guys—this is it!  So fun to be apart of their process.  This is a prime example of why I LOVE making music.  That process of getting excited to try new sounds and create is something incredibly special.  The only thing that comes close in terms of music is when you perform for a crowd and everyone in the band is locked in and you can see it reflected back from the audience. 

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 12.   Yellow Wings (Reprise)

Yellow Wings (Reprise) is the dark lynchpin of the story we tell in Istology.  This song is the first time we hear Janey’s internal monologue. It is the first time she acknowledges how low she feels.  She would never admit that to anyone.  She has to put on a brave front to the world, but we all know she is hurting.  I love this song as you get a real sense of falling.  The music and lyrics create this slow, flighty fall into the depths.  If you have never experienced depression, this is what it would feel like.  In many ways, it is the emotional center of the album as it is Janey’s honest account of herself.  The true brilliance in my mind is that there are musical themes from other songs on the album portrayed in Reprise.  My favorite is the end and the repeating line “gravity takes hold”. 

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 13.   Be Something

The last song on @drifteffect album of the same name.  Not a ton to say about this one.  Ben always said it reminded him of the book of Proverbs from the bible. I like that notion. It is a complete departure from the rest of the album in terms of style.  I have always loved it because it is so calming.  Something to leave you with in terms of thoughts and feelings.

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5a984b3b372b967f58ec277b/5a99a0acf9619a18f7dc1fa7/5a99a3ab8165f53ff53f21c1/1520018370266/12+Be+Something.mp3

 14.   Mental Images

This song was written 20+ years ago by Jason Sulzle.  I would say 15 years ago, I asked if I could take a crack at it.  I arranged it, added/subtracted a few small things.  Kind of made it my own over the next 8 years.   It is such a great song!  It was recorded by Adam Schmid for @theattleyproject at the now expired deadsound studios.  We had Sarah Pray sit in on this one.  My fondest memory was that I came up with a guitar line for the bridge, and Adam made me play it over and over and over until it was perfect.  I learned so much that day.  Mostly, that if I took the time I could actually play the guitar in a different way.  I have always used it to come up with melodies.  This taught me to think in terms of patterns.  Anyway, this is a really great song and I am so honored that Jason allowed me to run with it, and I am really proud of how my version turned out.

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5a984b3b372b967f58ec277b/5a999bb953450afd5a2cb212/5b22e05f352f53a9032a36d9/1529012346158/Mental+Images.mp3

 

15.   Attica

I wrote this song originally 20 years ago.  I wrote it for my brother. At the time, I didn’t understand his mental illness.  I just thought he was conditioned by our dysfunctional family to go to this dark place in his mind.  Attica, is of course a prison in New York and I had this very real vision of him behind bars of his own making. Anyway, I always liked the lyrics and the melody.  I showed Marc my simple guitar structure, and he took it and made it his own. When the rest of @DriftEffect got their hands on it, it morphed into this huge sound.  Adam engineered and mixed this song.  We actually recorded most of it in a session we had in a theater room in my old house in Mankato.  This is another song that most have not heard.  Give it a listen and share away!

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16.   Nevis

This song was written in Nevis, MN.  I know creative title.  Marc’s (technically, his parents cabin) is such an amazingly beautiful and quiet place.  Over the years, we have spent countless hours making music there.  It has turned into one of my favorite places on earth.  Beyond the time we spend playing cribbage and cooking meals, canoeing and fishing-- we have written music/recorded for every band we have been a part of.   This song came from my first time there. Marc and I wandered down onto the deck of his parent’s cabin.  We sat down with an acoustic and this song was written in about 15 minutes.  Enjoy and think of the calm that the world can offer.  Especially, important in these chaotic and anxious times.

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5a984b3b372b967f58ec277b/5a999e878165f5070d438c4b/5a999f5e0d92974c6bbaf3ba/1520017265494/07+Nevis.mp3

 17.   On a Hill

This song is the based on a local legend near Vermillion, SD.  There is a hill just north of the city where it is said that the spirit of a Native woman guides and protects.  Local legend says this is why there had never been a tornado in Vermillion.  Although several all around the area (I used to chase tornados when I lived there—another story for another day).  “On a Hill” works with the song before it called “Legend of A Native Woman”.  My original idea was to have a trilogy of songs with the first being a song I had written with my first band, Switchgrass.  That song was called “Immobilized”.  I never convinced the guys in @drifteffect to tackle it, but you can go to everythingraymond.com and give either a listen.

This track features Lara Buss on vocals.  Lara was a huge part of our band.  Much like Evan, she did a little bit of everything for us. One of my big regrets was not writing music with her.  She has a great voice and I wish I would have done more with her.  Anyway, I love the dynamics of this song.  The chorus is one phrase “Keep Us Safe”-- which in the context of a woman brutalized by the society she has vowed to protect – creates a kind of disbelief and anger.  This song is best played at high volumes!

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18.   the Clutter

I chose this song for a few reasons. The first is that it randomly showed up on a playlist on a drive somewhere.  My youngest loved it.  He said, “Dad, I love your angry voice”.  A bit odd, I suppose but he does love rock n roll.  Secondly, this song may be even more relevant now than when we wrote it.  In thinking about the last 20 years, it is amazing how thoroughly our society has changed since September 11, 2001.  I tried to write a song that captured all the gross in our world, but offered some hope.  I think for this one, I am going to post the lyrics as I am really proud of them. 

A story about recording this song.  We were hard at work with Chris in Wisconsin.  He was leaving in two days, and I was really unhappy with my vocals on this tune.  I just couldn’t quite get it right.  However, we had a gig the night before he was to leave.  So, we played the show and by the time we loaded out, it was 2:00 AM.  I drove back to his cabin in Wisconsin and got the cabin about 4:30 AM.  I crashed on the couch.  We started tracking the vocals at about 9:00 AM.  So, my voice sounds pretty rough.  A gig, little sleep, and an early morning.  Make sure you check out the lyrics below.  Oh, and you have been warned:  there are a couple cusses.

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 19.   All The Things

This is a live recording that my first band Switchgrass recorded at the Urban Wildlife in MInneapolis.  We left Vermillion in the morning and got pulled over just as we crossed the state line into Minnesota.  By the time we got to 35W it was snowing.  We made it to the Urban Wildlife and loaded in during a blizzard.  If I remember correctly, this was the gig that fell on Super Bowl Sunday. The Panthers vs Patriots.  We played to about 10 people (mostly my friends from high school).  We finished and loaded out and began the long trek back to Vermillion.  It was white out conditions and there was 8-12” of snow on the ground.  It sucked!  We got back just in time for me to brush my teeth and go to work. 

Why this song? I had just went through a really brutal couple of years.  Brutal because it was the first time in my life when I actually looked deep into myself to confront the anger, confusion, sadness etc. that come from my childhood abuse. I was still not able to verbalize it, but I understood I needed a valve to release the pressure from years of bottling it all up.  This song was my first attempt at beginning to communicate the darkness and hurt I felt.  I can still feel the depth of feeling I had as I sang to a couple of people in the audience who would recognize the 12 year old boy who suffered so thoroughly.  Plus, it is the one time ever I played a lead line on the guitar. 

 

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20.   Morning Song

This one has a very special place in my heart.  The poem was written 19 years ago.  My wife and I had argued the night before and I couldn’t sleep.  At 5:30 AM, for some reason, I just got in my car and drove. I found a county park along the river near Vermillion, SD. I pulled in and just sat there.  Someone had a fire the night before on the opposite bank.  The thin line of smoke was barely visible in the gray dawn.  Just as the sun was about to come up, the migrating geese became restless.  I got out of my car and walked to the edge of the river and listened to the rising sound.  All at once a thousand geese lit into the air at exactly the same time--just as the sun was coming up.  It was remarkable.  An absolutely beautiful sight.  Yet, here I was all by myself sharing this amazing experience with no one (except my old buddy Vedderdog).  This moment really began to shape my perception.  It was a founding principle in @drifteffect:  life is experience and those you share it with. 

Fast forward a decade and we were working on songs with Colt Leeb.  We had a basic structure and I had a decent melody and this poem.  We gave our faith that Colt could polish this rough idea and make sense of it.  He did an incredible job! 

The last tale to tell involves one of my oldest friends, Kevin Huxford.  We were asked to make a music video to send to the USO and maybe hop on a tour.  My old friend, at the time, had just got back from Iraq. We wanted to do something different than just us being “rock stars”.  We thought that the troops would enjoy seeing visions of home.  So, I set out to make a video that touched on the themes of the song while paying homage to my great friend and the sacrifices that he and his family had to make.  Kevin helped out by sending some pics of him and his family.  I still cry when the shot of him reuniting with his wife and small children.  All of this leads to a very sincere and earnest love of this song.  The emotional backbone to all of the stories I’ve told give it a heightened sense for me.  So, instead of just playing the song, I wanted to share the rudimentary video we made to honor our troops. More importantly, to honor a truly beautiful human being that I get to call my friend, Kevin Huxford and his family.

 

https://youtu.be/kvpFsoUBx50

 

Seeing as the theme was 20 years of music, I only chose 20 songs.  Here are some honorable mentions:

 

Running From-- Drift Effect EP

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River Valley Town-- Drift Effect Temporal End

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Hallowed—Meridian Incident

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Manic—The Attley Project (really Drift Effect but released via AP)

https://static1.squarespace.com/static/5a984b3b372b967f58ec277b/5a999bb953450afd5a2cb212/5b22e08870a6adc83692a10f/1529012381474/Manic.mp3

 

October Sky—The Attley Project

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